• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About NoFilter
  • Contact
  • Write for NoFilter
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS

get no filter news:

NoFilter

Modern Woman + Mother

  • Parenting
  • Love
  • Real Talk
  • Lifestyle
  • Parenting
  • Love
  • Real Talk
  • Lifestyle

Lifestyle, Parenting, Pregnancy, Real Advice

So You Want to Have a Large Family


Happy family lies in field.

So, you want to have a large family.

As I am currently baking my sixth spawn, I mean wonderful blessing, I feel that while I may not be an expert on all things Mom, I am a pretty good judge on what to expect when you’re expecting – yet again.

A cartoon of a sperm.

 

The Journey Begins

There are a few types of women when they start suspecting a pregnancy, especially when they already have several offspring. There are the ones who test as soon as they suspect that they might, maybe even possibly, be having another baby, and the ones who put off testing as long as they can, because, you know, ignorance is bliss.

A unicorn galloping saying "The more you don't want to know."

Me, I fell on the “Oh God, just tell me so I can get the mental processing of this information done,” side of the spectrum. My husband falls to “I don’t see any reason to test until you’re over a week late.” We compromise by me testing the precise day my period is due.

Next, you have that first, immediate reaction to the positive test.

A woman says "Why would you do this to me?"

1. No, No, No

Some cry, but not a happy cry. We’re talking sitting on the floor eating cake and ice cream wailing “Why me, God?” cry.

 

 

Megan Fox is about to faint.

2. Let Me Just Faint a Sec…

Some just faint from the sheer exhaustion at the idea of yet another baby.

 

 

Zooey Deschanel says "I'm cool"

3. Eh, It’s Cool.

Then, some are resigned to their life status of clown car and say “Whatevs.”

 

 

Most of us moms of large families just run through all of the phases while wishing for a drink. Then immediately have to go clean up some other child’s mess or break up a fight.

Getting to the Real Part

When we finally get around to telling our close friends, we have to stop and think about how we will answer that first inevitable question “Are you ok?”

Woman looks shocked and is crying.

There’s never really a good answer because many times you just don’t know. My main response to that is “overwhelmed” or “tired” or “like I’m God’s personal joke.” All that you really do know is that your BFF’s reaction is going to be nothing compared to making that announcement to the general public.

Woman rolls her eyes.

The most predictable response will be the question of “Don’t you know what causes that yet?” Spoiler alert, it isn’t falling asleep on the couch exhausted while trying to have some alone quiet time watching TV together. It’s sex. But you know that, and if you are like me you just smile while thinking…

Summer from the OC says "But I like it."

Then will be the comments of “OMG, are you trying to go for your own reality show?” or “Are you Catholic or something?” or “Don’t you have hobbies?”

Chrissy Teigen looks pained.

I do have hobbies. I knit. I don’t see how that prevents babies though. I guess I could try out knitting some condoms, but honestly, that sounds super scratchy and uncomfortable.

Another common favorite question of the masses is “But how do you even have time for that with so many kids already?”

Topanga looks sultry.

When you have as many kids as us, you make the time for sex. Sex is important. Sex lets you blow off that kids-annoying-you frustration.

If people had wanted to talk this much about sex with me at sixteen I might not have gotten pregnant as a teen. (I kid, my parents were all over those conversations.)

Ellen Page as Juno reads a pregnancy test.

Here is something that you don’t think about once your family reaches a certain size – you are going to need a new car. I know, I know, you already drive a minivan. But most minivans only sit seven. When we got pregnant with our newest baby, baby number six, it occurred to us that “We have to get a BIGGER van.” If you keep going past 5 kids and 2 parents, you have to progress on church vans. You will be THAT family. That weird family that never fits anywhere, that requires multiple hotel rooms and automatic gratuity added to checks when you all go out to eat.

The most important thing to remember when it comes to large families is that we don’t want your opinion.

But large families, they are pretty fun. They aren’t for everyone. Shoot, sometimes you end up with one and you’re still never ready for it. But, you adapt. Things might not always be clean and they’re never quiet. It is almost always super chaotic and smelly, but hey, it’s life and sometimes it’s even really good.

The most important thing to remember when it comes to large families is that we don’t want your opinion. Not about the number of kids. Not about the state of our house. Not about our sex life or contraceptive choices. We definitely don’t need or care to hear your jokes, because honestly? They aren’t that funny or that original and each time that you say one, we hate you a little more.

Woman says "If I want your opinions, I'll ask for it."

Trish Harden | NoFilter Contributor
Trish Harden

Trish is a creator. She is a memory keeper, writer, knitter, poet and occasional artist. She loves crafts, music, Doctor Who and Harry Potter. She is a mom of 5 who range from teen to toddler. Like a Disney princess, she married young and has found that growing up with her love is as much an adventure as growing old together.

    This author does not have any more posts.

by Trish Harden on April 8, 2018

You May Also Like:

  • kid christmasFrom the Mouths of Babes: What is Christmas About? (GIF)
  • teenagerI Was a Teen Mom Before MTV Made It Cool
  • medicineGoverning Women’s Healthcare: A New Meaning to Hormonal Regulation
  • Backyard activities for kids10 Creative Backyard Activities for Kids
  • wine-cultureRethinking the Mommy Wine Culture
  • peace and freedomThe Gift of Tubal Ligation: Permission to Have Peace and Freedom
  • 5 Tubes of lipstick in a glass.Getting Out of the Lipstick Safe-Zone
  • new year dietChoosing a Diet in the New Year
  • woman at workA Guide to Overcoming Workplace Bullying

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

« Grief -You’re Never Really Over It
How to Be a DIY Earth Day Pro »

Primary Sidebar

don’t miss a thing.

Subscribe for our weekly newsletter, and join a community of like-minded women who are owning their lives.

Categories

  • After Divorce
  • Beauty
  • Career
  • Coming Back to It
  • Confessions
  • Dating
  • Dating Unfiltered
  • Divorce
  • Family
  • Feeding
  • Food
  • Getting Along
  • Going Green
  • Having It
  • Health
  • Home
  • Improving Marriage
  • Lifestyle
  • Littles
  • Love
  • Marriage
  • Marriage Unfiltered
  • Parenting
  • Parenting
  • Parenting Unfiltered
  • Politics
  • Postpartum
  • Pregnancy
  • Pregnancy Unfiltered
  • Real Advice
  • Real Talk
  • Self Care
  • Sex
  • Sex Unfiltered
  • Special Needs
  • Stay At Home Mom
  • Style
  • Teens
  • Tough Choices
  • Trauma
  • Travel
  • Uncategorized
  • Work From Home Mom
  • Working Mom

Follow No Filter on Instagram

  • In case someone hasn’t told you lately, always know this: you are loved, you are valued, and YOU ARE ENOUGH! We hope everyone has a wonderful week ❤️

Trending Now

Colorful bag with flowers from World Market.

Earth Day- How Do I Save Earth with the Little Things?

orchid

Thinking Like a Plant: Flourishing in a New Career

A hand holds a toy earth against a blue sky and mountain ridge.

How to Be a DIY Earth Day Pro

Happy family lies in field.

So You Want to Have a Large Family

get no filter news weekly.

Footer

  • Parenting
    • Parenting
    • Working Mom
    • Work From Home
    • Stay At Home Mom
    • Pregnancy
    • Trying To Conceive
  • Love
    • Dating
    • Marriage
    • Sex
    • Divorce
  • Real Talk
    • Trauma
    • Confessions
    • Tough Choices
    • Real Advice
    • Getting Along
  • Lifestyle
    • Beauty
    • Career
    • Food
    • Health
    • Home
    • Media
    • Politics
    • Style
  • Write for NoFilter
  • Contact

Get connected:

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • RSS
  • About NoFilter
  • Contact
  • Write for NoFilter

Write for No Filter

© 2018 No Filter · Design by Cooked Creative